Waiting for Lia Riyani: Butter, Jelly & Bread.

I cannot forget this one.

Jack calls Gavin "Brother" more often than his name. We have no idea why really, it seems like Gavin would be easier to say but I do often say things like "Cute brothers" so I guess that's why. But with his toddler-ease it comes out more like "Butter". So the last few days Gavin has replied to the calls of "Butter, Butter, where are you?" with "Here, Jelly." The smart cookie told me Jelly was a good name for him because it started with J like Jack. Then he proceeded to tell me that he would someday call baby sister "Bread". Apparently we are the sandwich family, I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere but I'm too tired from this week to contemplate them right now : )

Our Adoption Timeline

Begin Adoption Research- January 2008
App Part I Submitted- February 28, 2008
App Part I Approved- March 4,2008
USCIS I-600A Submitted- March 17, 2008
App Part II Submitted- March 29, 2008
App Part II Approved- April 8, 2008
Homestudy Submitted- April 24, 2008
USCIS Fingerprints- May 2, 2008
Homestudy Approved- May 8, 2008
Dossier Submitted- May 21, 2008
On "The List" at #14- May 21, 2008
Dossier Approved- May 31, 2008
USCIS 171H Approval- June 21, 2008
Receive Referral- October 8, 2008
Accept Referral- October 13, 2008
Acceptance Paperwork Sent to Kolkata- October 16, 2008
NOC- December 29, 2008
Scrutinization of Documents Complete- February 10, 2009
Receive Guardianship- April 16, 2009
Receive Passport
Leave NC
Arrive in Delhi
Arrive In Kolkata
Pick up Baby Girl

India Books (Fiction is starred).

*Speech of Angels (Sharon Maas). A must read for all India adopive families! Has interesting views of India, adoption, identity and connection and best of all wonderfully developed characters and storylines. (Warning it is hard to find in the US I had to order it from abroad).
*Digging to America (Anne Tyler). Very readable, interesting struggles with culture and retaining and giving up (either voluntarily or involuntarily) although I wouldn't say the main storyline is adoption, it is adoption-related and a good read!
*Monsoon Summer (Mitali Perkins) 2006. A young adult novel so very accessible. The narrator's mother was adopted from India and the family goes back for the summer and the narrator volunteers at the orphanage. Sweet story and has some good descriptions of India and orphanage issues.
Daughter of the Ganges (Asha Miro) 2007. Although this is certainly an adoption story (the author returns to India, her birth country, as an adult), the author does seem remarkably well-adjusted and the focus isn't solely on identity definition. What I think I learned the most about was what it is like to see India from a unique perspective. A very easy read, good descriptions and definitely a must read for the India adoption community!

General Adoption Books

Interracial Intimacies: Sex, Marriage & Adoption (Randall Kennedy). Not the easiest read, it is pretty academic (with the footnotes and all) but I found it fascinating. It traces the cultural opinions and historical reactions regarding trans-racial love. Really eye opening, regarding the history and the ways that line has been crossed. It's a LONG book and takes some effort but I think for those of us embarking on transracial families it's got good historical and cultural information.
Of Many Colors: Portraits of Multiracial Families (Gillespie) 1997. Not a traditional book, it is mostly a book of photographs of families. But I loved it! The families statements (and they often included statements from the children) were interesting and beautiful. I read it over my morning coffee and it was a good way to start the day, upbeat and easy reading!
Dim Sum, Bagels and Grits: A Sourcebook for Multicultural Families (Myra Alperson) 2001, The author gives many familial anecdotes (hers and others). It's an easy read. But what I was most excited about was the resources chapter- but they are almost all outdated (most of the webstores no longer exist). Just goes to show how quickly the adoption world changes.
Are Those Kids Yours (Cheri Register) 1990. I always like reading other adoptive parents' stories. She gives many familial examples to keep things interesting. She also has some good advice on how to bring up adoption with her daughters and addressing the gaps in adopted children's stories. What really struck me the most was her discussion of how most birthmothers are deemed to be choosing to give up their child when really there is no choice at all. I also liked her discussion of the obligation to those left behind. It's an easy read. A bit old though, so much has changed in the adoption community in 20 years.
Outsiders Within: Writing on Transracial Adoption (ed. Trenka et al). This was tough, but worth it. It is a book of essays, most by adult adoptees. Many are quite critical of adoption, some even of their adoptive parents. But what I thought was particularly useful was the consideration of the global issues and relationships that have led to the need for international adoption. Also some of the references to yearning for "exotic-ness" were quite thought provoking. But it's difficult. Made me question and re-question my motives and how to sensitively raise our children. Some guilt here- I know I could probably have used our adoption money to help six families raise their own children and that point is not lost on these authors.

Waiting for Lia Riyani

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Butter, Jelly & Bread.

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India Books (Fiction is starred).

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