Lia Riyani is 8 months old today! We are also coming up on 4 months since her referral (not that I'm obsessed with counting or anything- I have done an awful lot of mental calculations these past 4 months for someone who is very bad at math). So this week, in particular, we're thinking of baby girl and trying to put our restlessness into action- her room's not done, the orphanage gifts aren't all purchased and the travel research still has quite a ways to go. I refuse to get out the suitcases yet though- I know I'd just stare at the them longingly everyday.
As to process, we are still hangin' out waiting for scrutinization (Monday will be 6 weeks so I hope it comes soon!). It's funny how the first few weeks after we accomplish a step I am hopeful and at peace. Then we pass my mental calculation for when we 'should' (in my mind only) have received word on something and we don't and it starts all over again, the anxiety, obsessiveness and worry. I am not desperate today (I was at the NOC stage though!), but I see it looming. I know, know, know that it's useless to measure the time that it took other families to get through each stage but I can't help it! And I check my email obsessively (darn all those Gymboree and Old Navy emails that give me the new mail bell- don't they know the girl's closet is full already!)! I should learn that it comes when I least expect it (we heard about NOC on New Year's and I was not at all looking for it for once!).
Yet each day that passes I think of when other families heard and I think of the latest and earliest dates that our travel could likely be. The latest depresses me- I know we're lucky not to hit a major stall (at least not yet) like re-licensing or new judge, as some families have. But when we got her referral at almost the absolute earliest possible date I had figured no problem, she will definitely be home by her 1st birthday, maybe even before 10 months! But now it seems well within the realm of possibility that we'll be close to that 1st birthday. And I think of all the things I thought she would defininitely (or so I thought) be here for- the spring festival, Gavin's school play, May Day, Mother's Day, our pool opening, the end of the school year festivities, her brother's 6th birthday, our beach vacation and I know I have to face the fact that those dates might pass.
I know there's lessons to be had here. I know I'm supposed to learn something or maybe my boys need more time to get ready or we need to get that darn room done. I also know that this entire wait will be meaningless once it's over (and in a twisted way I'll probably miss the anticipation), but since it's not over yet- it's still meaningful!
And because I always feel the need to temper my whining because I know that I truly lived a blessed life...
On a lighter note- I have discovered today that baby wipes have many uses. Dear husband bought the regular kind (our eczema prone, dry skin baby needs extra sensitive) so instead of returning them I've been using them as cleaning wipes and I don't know what the heck is in those things but they have picked up cat hair off the furniture, puke off the carpet and years worth of grime off toys I was cleaning for consignment better than our regular cleaning wipes do!
And today was report card day and go Gavin! We're so proud of you sweet, smart boy!
She turns 4
11 years ago
5 comments:
It is definitely hard when you measure your timeframes with everyone else. Everybody really does have their own timelines and the journey unfolds differently for each. I wish there were some set in stone dates - that would help a lot. Don't give up hope - Lia could still make it for all those things :). You never know when the judge will get approval happy.
P.S. I check my email obsessively too and I get those same Old Navy emails ;). Hoping that scrutinization is just around the corner.
I was obsessed with that first birthday, and with Christmas, which would come 9 days after it. :o) I was just praying last night for all of the families who are waiting -- and I'll keep on for you. Hope you hear something soon!
-- Nancy
I have certainly spent my fair share of time whining lately too!! I have learned (and been reminded) that friends are there to listen when you need it! This is a VERY difficult process to go through. Lean on us! We are just a "click" away!
-Maggie
You won't miss the anticipation :)
Be hopeful, it's very possible that she'll be home before some of your dates. Mine was the first birthday and we got home the day before. I think God was teasing me :)
Praying for you,
Kristy
Yes! I second your post...the whole comparison thing has been brutal. So much so I haven't been to the forum in a couple of months. I continue to get miffed about it regularly. Clearly, nothing we can do but hope hard! REALLY hard.
Heather
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